Just another Magic Tuesday

Today is the DAY!!!

182.6....for the third week in a row

Oh no one who reads this blog, please sympathize with me. I am on day 22 of p90x, rock hard abs of nothing and I have GAINED, yes gained 2.5 pounds since I started 22 days ago, and have not seen the scale move even 1 ounce since.

I am discouraged, sore, and tired. I am happy that I have made it almost to 30 days, I feel stronger, but oh I am still fat as eva.

Weight loss is hard, maintaining weight loss is hard. Eating? Eating is easy. Those beezles that post on pinterst about "Be strong", "sweat is fat crying", and other motivational nonsense have OBVIOUSLY never had enjoyed warm french bread.

Fuck, that, shit.

But I kid, I have nothing against the pushers and those who have a stronger will power to resist carbs than I do, I just playin ladies :) but SERIOUSLY how do you do it? I tell myself I'm not gonna eat, blam 3 hours later I'm knee deep in tacos talking bout, tomorrow, tomorrow is the day.

That shit cray.

Side note: I am currently reading 50 Shades of Gray, holy toledo, if you like books with hardcore sex scenes, bondage, and domination, I would say this book would be a big thumbs up for you. One thing I do not like in my literature is a weak female character, who is clumsy, skinny and awkward but yet EVERY male she comes into contact with thinks she is SO beautiful and mysterious and instantly falls in love with her. And the man is domineering but its because hes protective of her delicate flowerness. PLEASE, that is not life, but ok I will enjoy the read anyway :)

171.6, and caffeine, a dangerous drug

I had a caffeine overdose today. I need to detox but that is going to be ROUGH. The last time I went caffeine free I spent 4 days in a zombie like sleep state. Bad.

Also Gwen Stefani has amazeballs abs:




CASE IN EFFING POINT

If there is one thing I could change about my body it would be my tummy. I would gladly take on 10 extra pounds in my legs to have a flatter stomach. Although I know there are people that hate their legs, etc, etc. Never happy, FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

172.something ish

This morning...172.something (I can't remember). I would have posted a picture but it was too horrifying. Hit the gym this morning and wasn't too bad on my diet. All in all not too bad of a day.

Best news, Sons of Anarchy is on tonight, Charlie Hunnam I will sit on your face.

Oh Hai, its been 6 months? Fo Real

I have not blogged in almost 6 effing months. Whassup with that? First of all I have been really busy with work, this means less down time at my desk to write hil-a-rious posts.

I have also been really busy gaining weight. Ha :(
But on the real I am fat again. I have gained back at least 20 pounds (oh thank you Thanksgiving for at least 4 of those pounds). I got back from Hawaii and got fat and lazy. I also had the Reno incident and the craziness that surrounded that debacle. So all in all yes I have been busy, is that an excuse to be fat? No, no it is not but that's exactly what happened. Lazy = bad.
Somewhere in all that busyness and work I lost my motivation. I didn't care and I found myself getting back into old habits (Hai Taco Bell, did you miss me?).

I am back to writing and back to dieting. Right now I weigh about 170ish I believe (the scale scares me right now). So 20 pounds, 1 pound at a time. I will get there. Healthy life for me.

I still have been going to the gym 3-4 times a week, so it's not the exercise that is lacking, its the abundance of food. Food you fucking delicious devil you, get away from mama.

Wish me luck!!!

Hi There, Fat Here

Haha, still fat over here. Have basically been on and off of my diet since Easter and my weight loss shows for it, as in I have not lost any weight but keep losing and gaining the game 1-5 pounds. Yay. NOT. I don't know what my problem is. Maybe my mind has decided I am done with diet, maybe I am too close to my goal and think that slacking off is ok. Either way it sucks and I cannot seem to find the motivation through a weekend to be good. I am not discouraged but I have definitely not moved in the direction of good for awhile.
In other news I have moved from my office, which was coincidentally directly by my boyfriends place of work, not working together, but a lot of seeing eachother. Now that I have been gone he has been very lovey towards me. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder. I am not complaining, it is nice to feel loved and appreciated, but I don't know why he has acted like that this week, and frankly I do not care.
Tonight is homemade chicken tacos, as long as my crock pot has not destroyed the chicken already.

A Creeping Creeper

I am making huge strides in my weight loss this week. I have lost all but .2 of the weight that I wanted to lose. When I saw 150.2 hit the scale this morning I almost cried. I am so close, and I want it so badly. I was able to finally get rid of the last few pounds that I have gained and lost quite a few times already. And looking back I have not really been on my diet seriously since Easter. Yes I have still been eating ok, but I was not religiously logging my food, and my cheat moments were becoming more regular. I have gotten back to regular this week and the scale is thanking me for it.

Sometimes my life seems so out of control, with worrying about money, schedules, jobs, things, I just become overwhelmed, at least this is one thing that I am happy with and can maintain.

A lot of people have asked me how I have lost the weight, I mostly say that I go to the gym 4-5 times a week and stopped eating crap, but there is a lot more to it than that. Weight loss is like a science, a game that you have to master. Here is my schedule and food on a typical diet day:
5am: gym time for 1 hour, either spin class, stairs, or treadmill
8:30am: breakfast 1/3cup dry oatmeal with 1 packet splenda and lately I have been cutting half a banana to add to it (or berries or plain whatever I happen to have)
10:30am: snack, usually a fiber bar or protein shake and a handful of walnuts
12:30pm: lunch, 3-4 oz. chicken or turkey lunch meat and either a salad or 1/2 cup black beans.
2:30pm: snack, handful of walnuts, or fruit bar
6:30pm: dinner, usually 4oz of chicken breast or other protein (sometimes turkey, steak etc.) 1 cup green beans .5 cup carrots steamed together. Or I will eat my green beans and carrots with black beans if I don't have a meat, sometimes I throw a cup of cooked brown rice into the mix, but stay mostly with these foods. Also sushi is a treat that I eat a few times a month, spicy tuna roll with a miso soup and a cup of edamame beans.
8:30pm: snack, my "dessert" I usually have a 100 calorie fudge bar or 1 cup sugar free jello

That usually adds up to roughly 1000ish a day and I try to maintain at least 1200.

I am hoping I reach my goal soon!

May makes me want to kill myself mmmmk

May, ah what a lovely month filled with longer spring nights, relaxing and preparing for your savage tan for summer...yeah effing right. For about the past 10 years of my life May has been full of events. First of all my Mom's birthday is May 7th, which is usually the day right around Mother's Day, yaay. Also my parents had the great idea to get married the next week so their anniversary is the 15th, now that my dad has passed we don't celebrate that anymore. One of my best friends, her birthday is the 16th, yeah we're gonna keep going to hold on tight. My boyfriend who is deeply involved in the aviation and war bird community...oh guess what ALL of the airshows that we frequent are in MAY! This year mom my is retiring, oh you guessed it, in May, as well as having a family get together after her retirement party at my house. This is not to mention that the past 3 years I have had friends all getting married, having babies, etc etc all in May.

What this usually boils down to is me having a fucking panic attack around March as my weekends in May become booked in a matter of a week or so. By the time I actually make it through the month I just want to die but cannot afford to because I have spent all of my money on fucking presents for whatever occasion is occurring.

If someone even thinks about attempting to book something the last week of April I just scoff and say "that's cute, I was booked in March, maybe next time get the jump and let me know mid-January, ok sweetie" haha.

I don't know why this all stresses me out so, but I am the kind of person who likes to sit at home and do nothing. I am not a get up and go yee-haw kind of girl at all. So the idea of running around like a chicken with my head cut off for a whole month just makes me want to take a damn nap.


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

But I still do it anyway, at least we are halfway there, only 2 more weekends to survive!

AHH Yeah

In just a few hours I will be getting the fuck out of dodge. It doesn't even matter to me where I am going, just the fact that I will be chillin in a hotel room (paid for even, boo-ya) doing whatever the eff that I please. This is exciting. Tomorrow we are going to the Planes of Fame airshow in Chino. (I know, lame, but we get everything paid for because we are VIP like that, lol). It should be all kinds of shenanigans and good times. Let me just say that last year at this same air show I got about 76 sheets to the wind, I mean ugly face crying in the bathroom with a girlfriend, and the next day had the WORST hangover to date that I have ever had. This hangover would probably been fine had I been able to sleep if off the next day, but no my still drunk ass was up at 5:30am, puking while trying to take a shower, puking in a cup in the car while I sat there hoping to die. It was bad. This year my goal is to NOT be that. Also to not succumb to the bomb ass nacho fries they sell there, no I will drink water and eat whatever healthy options are available :)

Oh Internet

I am trying to get over the major humps I have been having



Lol

I have been so effing cranky for a week or so now. I yelled at my boyfriend the other day because I did not like the way he handed me a pen! A PEN!



(I was like this but worse)

WTF is my problem? I am not sure. I have been getting so irritated by everything lately. And before we go on claiming its some lady problems or what have you, I can guarantee it is not. That ship has sailed for this month so I am coo. Maybe I am just in major bitch mode? All I ever want to seem to do is take a nap. I need a rejuvenation a la Ramona on Real Housewives New York (don't hate.)

On the weight loss front I am still struggling to lose the last 5 pounds. Which is probably because I have not been on my diet at all (duh).

So for today I hate everyone and everything. HAHA!